Individual therapy can provide a safe and supportive environment for you to work through complex thoughts and emotions. But some people have reservations about the process — often because they don’t know what to expect.
We’ve helped individuals from an incredibly diverse range of backgrounds and lifestyles take a safe and productive approach to therapy. Let us explain why 1-on-1 counselling can be difficult for some people and show you how to avoid those challenges to get the most from your experience.
Why do some people fail to get value from individual counselling?
Decades of research support therapy’s effectiveness for a wide range of concerns — but not everyone has a positive experience, and it’s important to understand why.
Lack of connection with the therapist
Research supports the idea that a strong connection between a client and their therapist (also known as a therapeutic alliance) leads to better outcomes. That doesn’t mean therapists have to be best friends with their clients, but it does mean some will likely be better matches than others. Some clients may feel uncomfortable seeing a therapist whose worldview they perceive to be radically different from their own.
Lack of clarity about intended outcomes
Some patients may feel their time in therapy is unproductive because they aren’t on the same page as their therapist in terms of what they’re trying to accomplish. This can happen when a client isn’t forthcoming about their reasons for going to therapy, but it’s also vital for effective therapists to talk to their clients and encourage them to communicate their goals.
Not ready to be open and honest
Some clients can seem fully engaged in their sessions without ever making meaningful progress. Sometimes it can even seem like a client is using therapy to avoid their challenges instead of confronting them. When a client seems to stagnate in therapy, it may stem from an underlying fear of vulnerability or change.
How can you set yourself up for success?
Identify your goals
Before starting therapy, think about what you want to change in your life. Then try to articulate some concrete goals based on those aspirations and bring them to your therapist’s attention during your initial session. From that point forward, there’s a much better chance both of you will be on the same page.
Identify the relationship you want with your therapist
Your therapist is going to learn a lot about you during the process, so consider what it will take for you to feel seen, heard, and supported. Do you respond to empathy and warmth, or are you looking for someone to provide advice and encourage you to take calculated risks? The therapeutic relationship is one of the most reliable predictors of outcome, so it’s worth thinking about what you want it to look like.
Set appropriate boundaries
Boundaries might involve subjects that you aren’t comfortable discussing, communication tactics that don’t serve you, or when not to have certain conversations. You should always feel empowered to tell your therapist about topics, techniques, or timing issues that could affect your level of comfort and trust.
Be open, honest, and vulnerable
Once you’ve set up parameters for your therapy that let you feel safe, do your best to be as forthcoming as possible. Holding back information that could be relevant to your challenges will limit the extent to which your therapist can help you.
Accept that therapy isn’t always comfortable
In fact, if it is, it’s probably not working. Personal growth isn’t always easy, although it’s often incredibly rewarding. To reap those rewards in therapy, you’ll need to develop the courage to see inside yourself and the trust required to share what you find with your counsellor.
No matter who you are or what you’re dealing with, therapy can help. Book a free 20-minute consult or read about our individual therapy work.