Grief and Loss Counselling

What is grief?

Grief is defined as the response to a loss. Grief is not limited to losing something or someone or something coming to an end entirely — grief may also occur due to a change or disruption in one’s life.

Grief-related terms

• Mourning is defined as “the behavioural manifestations of grief, which are influenced by social and cultural rituals, such as funerals, visitations, or other customs.”
• Bereavement is the term used to refer to the state or process of having experienced a loss.
• Disenfranchised grief is a type of loss that is not acknowledged in the same way as other types of loss by society at large, socially or publicly.

Who might seek grief counselling?

You may seek out grief counselling if you have experienced a loss in your own life, or if you are supporting someone who has experienced a loss. You may seek individual counselling, family counselling, couples counselling, or group therapy for grief and loss.

Types of loss

Grief may involve the loss of, but is not limited to:

• A loved one
• A relationship
• A pet
• A job
• Moving

Symptoms of grief

An individual may experience the following grief symptoms:

• Physical: change in appetite, sleep disturbances, loss of energy, somatic complaints, increase in illness, etc.
• Emotional: shock, disbelief, confusion, despair, fear, anxiety, guilt, shame, regret, anger, resentment, sadness, depression, loneliness, emptiness, numbness, helplessness, hopelessness.
• Cognitive: preoccupation with thoughts of the deceased, self-reproach, difficulty in concentration.
• Behavioural: crying, tiredness, nightmares/difficulty sleeping/sleep disorders, agitation, increased substance consumption, change in appetite.
• Social: withdrawal, changes in relationships.

Types of grief

• Acute grief occurs in the early or initial stages following a loss, characterized by intense emotions.
• Integrated grief is where the reality of the loss has been acknowledged and the individual attempts to resume daily tasks. This doesn’t mean the individual has forgotten or doesn’t miss or reminisce, but there is a lesser degree of preoccupation and disruption.
• Complicated grief, also referred to as unresolved or traumatic grief, consists of prolonged and intense grief associated with significant impacts in functioning. Meta-analysis of bereavement studies estimates a prevalence of roughly 9.8% for prolonged grief disorder (Lundorff et al., 2017).

Grief models

Bowlby’s Model

• Numbing phase
• Yearning phase
• Disorganization and despair phase
• Greater or lesser reorganization phase

Kübler-Ross Model

• Stage one: denial
• Stage two: anger
• Stage three: bargaining
• Stage four: depression
• Stage five: acceptance

Stroebe and Schut’s Dual Process Model

• Loss oriented
• Restoration oriented

Although several grief models have attempted to understand the ways grief is experienced and processed, it is important to understand that grief is personal and variable. Various factors may influence the intensity and duration of grief including the individual’s preexisting personality, attachment style, genetic makeup, age and health, spirituality and cultural identity, supports and resources, the number of losses, the nature and type of the relationship, and the type of loss (sudden vs. gradual, anticipated vs. unanticipated, natural causes vs. suicide, accident, or homicide).

Benefits of grief counselling

• The ability to address, understand, and work through intense emotions
• Learn how to cope with or navigate intense emotions more effectively
• Move through the healing process and begin to look forward
• Remembering or honouring a lost loved one or commemorating a loss

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, mourn, or heal — but counselling can help you along this journey and through this difficult time. If you’re navigating a loss, read about our individual counselling or book a free 20-minute consult.